Friday, November 18, 2005

"What if Prince Harry moved into Apartment 1?" "I think that would be pretty sad for him."

Yesterday I opened the refrigerator and noticed a slow but steady trickle of pinkish liquid seeping down the crisper drawers. I followed this trickle to the source, which turned out to be the fully thawed 20 pound young turkey sitting on the first shelf. It was then I noticed that the whole first shelf had accumulated a good milimeter of turkey seepage and as a result, everything on that shelf was absolutely marinated in it.

So I had no choice but to pull out the shelves, wash/bleach them in the bathtub, throw away everything that was not sealed and protected against the salmonella turkey blood, and then there was the turkey to deal with. All 20 pounds of it.

Since it had been "thawing" in the refrigerator for four days and was already over a year old, it seemed that the only option left was to quietly dispose of it. Trash gets picked up on Friday. Wednesday morning, a 20 pound turkey carcass was disposed of in the 100 Riverway trash room. I haven't been down there once since, but I can only imagine that it must either smell pretty rank, or not smell at all because all of the raw poison turkey flesh has been gnawed off by every rat in the city that somehow made its way into our trash room to devour that turkey.

And today I dropped my mascara DIRECTLY into the toilet. It was so direct that it went straight down that little hole and I had to do some serious excavating with enormous rubber gloves on, up to my elbows in toilet to fetch the mascara and prevent a serious plumbing issue.

I don't think I've ever had two such genuinely FILTHY experiences happen to me so close to each other before.

Midnight ice cream in the frigid cold really frosts my berries.

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