I caught an uncatchable fish.

In my Plagues class today it occured to me that my life may be in danger. And it's not cholera I'm worried about.

It's a MAN. He's about 50 and wears cowboy boots and a moustache and has a certain twang that could either be mid South or just hickey Western Massachusetts. And no matter where I sit, he always sits in front of me.

I absolutely believe him to be a serial killer. 

So I guess we'll see. But you heard it here first.

I practically dove willingly into a Very Deep Puddle today and positively soaked my left mesh Puma clad sneaker. I also had damp gloves and a blown out paisley umbrella. The picture of dishevlement.

But it's great because this afternoon was practically bathing suit weather and my writing professer had a SPECTACULAR ensemble (Brown, mid thigh length crushed velvet turtleneck dress under a brown blazer with ostentatious gold buttons, knee length brown boots, gold ornerments dangling from her ears and a gold flossy necklace) which I witnessed at 9:30 this morning when she peeled off her black fur coat and haven't stopped giggling since.

Plus it's already Tuesday which is basically Wednesday which is basically Friday.

Spring into Spring, my friends. Spring. Into. Spring.

Thanks, Holly.

The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of.



...and so it goes.

The Tewksbury Chainsaw Massacre

The Curse of Mary the Teal Van lives on.

Let me explain. Last summer Natale, Kristina, and I decided to go to the Solomon Pond Mall, because it was the easiest "good" mall to get to from Leominster, as there are several clearly labeled signs to guide weary travellers to the Mall. Plus, Mary wasn't doing so well, and had to take it easy, so a 20 minute drive was about all she could handle.

Well to make a long (and personally degrading) story short, the three of us visited the towns of Upton and Hopkington and went about thirty miles out of the way before finally seeking the aid of a police man in a parking lot to put us back on the appropriate highway.

Today Bill, Page, Kristina, and I decided to pop on over to Solomon Pond Mall to pick up some sunglasses. We assumed the lesson had been learned, and we would just follow the many obvious signs that direct the travellers and end up at the mall in the appropriate 20 or so minutes.

So we get engrossed in conversation and not only drive past our exit, but about 15 exits following our exit. We are now Lost. Not just lost, but Lost. As in 40 miles too far, Welcome to Tewksbury/Wilmington/NORTH READING kind of lost. Since we refuse to resort to asking a police man for directions to Solomon Pond Mall AGAIN, Kristina decides to pop into a Burger King and ask a freshly emigrated employee how to get back on the highway we needed. The kindly woman told us to take a right and go down, down, down the street ("you may think you lost, but you NOT") until we reached Wal Mart.

So it took an hour, once again. But this time we got to experience Tewksbury-It KICKS!, in all of its never ending glory. I have visited a fair amount of random Massachusetts towns trying to go to a mall that is 20 minutes and like 2 towns away.

Thus describes Mary's Curse. It has now affected both Natale and Kristina. I'm the only one left, and I can only IMAGINE where I'll wind up if I ever decide to drive to Solomon Pond Mall.

...Probably Rhode Island.

My mad existence.

There has GOT to be something I have to get done.

Of course there is. I'm just really excellent at tricking myself into thinking that there's nothing.

An interesting dieting technique for college students is living at the top of an abysmal hill. I'm starving right now. There is nothing to eat in my dorm except for dry plain cereal, Cheez Its, Ritz crackers, and Saltines. Since I also have nothing to drink, eating any of the above would probably just worsen my situation. So I'm just wasting away due to complete laziness and lack of desire to walk back up the hill. 

This is probably a very similar situation to the one that made the dodos extinct.

I think that if I had to pick one TV station to survive on, it'd be TBS.

Uh oh. Joey's having college troubles. Good thing Worthington U has the perfect programs for her, oodles of financial aid, a prime locale, and lovely dorms that feature stained glass windows and hardwood floors.

POOF! I DON'T WANNA WAIT...

Za za ew.

I am walking up a down escalator.

And I am le tired.