I'm Old.

Why does eighteen seem so old? Oh right. Because it is. Yikes.

Regardless of my step towards senior citizenship, I have to say that my birthday was absolutely phenomonal, thanks, in large part, to my friends, because, quite honestly, they are a group of very very wonderful people. And I love them.

I haven't really taken advantage of the oppurtunites that one can take advantage OF when they turn 18. I don't smoke, so that's useless, I've never won any money on any scratch ticket I have ever scratched EVER in my life, tattoos and piercings are kind of null due to my pain phobia, and porn just isn't my thing. I do however, really want to order something off of a TV ad, like the Ultimate Chopper, so that I will have the ability to grind cement chips into a powder in the comfort of my own kitchen.

Speaking of appliances, I now am the proud owner of a Smoothie Maker, not to be confused with a blender, because does YOUR blender have a convnient little release spout at its base? If it does, than it's not a blender. It's a Smoothie Maker.

Lizzy gave me sea monkeys. I need to activate them soon. They are still in their little sealed up pouchy thing, all dried up, just waiting to be dumped in water and brought to life. They are amazing creatures, those sea monkeys. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the progress of my magical pets. I'm going to try to keep them alive SO long that they become the biggest sea monkeys ever and I am forced to keep them in the bathtub.

That's a little disgusting. It's fine.

I'm off to go and vote on something, just because I can.

Scho-Scho-Schoolio.

My first official Theatre Arts class seems like a hoot. Kristina, Bill, Shawnna and I share a table with a very motley crew, including two random sophomores that came quite close to believing me when I told them that Natale was born without eyes and in fact had two glass ones as replacements. Enough said. 

The new kids in Televison Production leave a little something to be desired, for the most part. Call me an elitist, because when it comes to TV Production I happen to be one. Whatever. 

Schmitty wasn't in school today. Yes, this was the cause for celebration of all kinds, including dancing and high fiving and maybe even a little bit of song. It's as though he knew how irritating he was yesterday, so he decided that it would be in the best interest of everyone if he just laid low for a day, at home in China... Either that or he knew just what would make Eleanor happiest on her birthday.

Quality television.

There is nothing worse than a burnt tongue, except for maybe not having one. Like the ambiguous Lunch Man, who supposedly had his tongue cut out and as a result is forced to ride a bike everywhere and is employed at LHS simply to guard the vanilla whips and free sherbet cups. Watch out for the new episode of Out of the Blue, where one group actually did their own version of The Big Urban Myth Show and based it entirely on the Legend of the Tongueless Lunch Man. I kid you not.

I really did have every intention of finishing my English essay right now. But, seeing as I left my expandable folder in my car, which has been taken out by my mother, I am now left with nothing to do but this. I sure hope my entire paper is saved on the disc that is in the expandable folder, because for some reason it didn't save on my computer. This concept makes me a teeny bit nervous.

I watched a little bit of Until Death Do Us Part on MTV this afternoon. I was sufficently freaked out. On their series premiere, Classy Carmen and Dapper Dave had their photo shoot for their absolutely breathtaking wedding invitations. Yeah. Their close friends and family are apparantly going to be summoned to their wedding by means of a photo of Carmen and Dave lying on metal embalming tables, wrapped in plastic, pretending to be dead. This facade was complete with blood, make up and Date of Expiration tags. 

I don't think I'll be watching Until Death Do Us Part again any time soon. That was just too tastelessly morbid for me. Who does that? Certainly not Nick and Jessica. Nossiree.

Speaking of MTV, I would like to give Bunim and Murray my most sincere thanks for putting Randy from Boston on their show. Nice job guys. Way to redeem yourselves for the abominations known as Donell and Chris. 

Psoriasis Connections.

So one day I was watching TV Guide Channel, waiting to see what time Full House came on or something, and that's when it happened.

My eyes were pulled away from the scrolling bars of television programming and fixated on an infomercial. This informercial was for a little organization called Psoriasis Connections, a support group and newsletter where people with psoriasis can learn about ther plague and come up with witty explanations for their aiments.

Obviously I needed to get in on the fun. I alerted Samm of this; and right away we formed the aliases of Iava and Uava Rache, and signed up for the free newsletter.

About three weeks ago, I find a package, discreetly encased in an inconspicuous navy blue plastic cover (presumably so that the mailman isn't made aware of the psoriasis) addressed to Iava Rache.

The following are direct quotes from the November 2003 issue of Psoriasis Connections:

*Possible explanation to give someone that you're planning to meet for the first time on a date*

-"I want to warn you. I've got this condition. It's not contagious, and it looks much worse than it is. I am going through a tough stage right now; if you would rather wait a few weeks to meet me, I'll understand."
-"I'm kind of going out on a limb here by disclosing this to you. I don't want you to get spooked when you see me. I want to reassure you that you can't catch it."

*Or you could just take the indifferent route:*

-"It's just too much skin. Big deal."
-"Some people are squeamish about this and I understand. Sometimes I goss myself out with it."

*The "Funny Guy"*
-"This is psoriasis. Proof that you CAN have too much of a good thing! Psoriasis isn't contagious or infectious; it just causes your body to produce WAAAAAY too much skin. At least you'll never call ME thin-skinned!"

*Possible explanations for encounters at a business meeting*
-"I want you to be able to concentrate on what I'm saying here, because it may be very important to you later. I don't want you to be distracted by what you see on my hands or (face, etc.) So let me put everyone's mind at ease. I have psoriasis. It's not contagious. It's not infectious. It can be itchy and annoying, but if you've ever had bad mosquito bites or poison ivy, you know the feeling. So, with this said, let us get back to our real purpose for getting together today and discuss..."

AND, if you happen to meet a business partner during an oubreak, shaking hands is not necessary. A firm smile, nod, and the explanation "Sorry, but my hand is a little sore right now" will suffice.

So wait...is psoriasis contagious?

I love free newsletters. Even if they do make me itchy.

The marshmallows: squishy. The coconut: sharp. The pineapple: juicy. The Cool Whip: there.

Today Natale and I celebrated the fact that we are, in fact, senior citizens by spending the afternoon milling about Leominster's various shopping centers, popping in on a friend, eating shepard's pie for dinner at 4:00, followed by the ever delicious ambrosia salad-MAKE WAY- for dessert. The evening was capped off by me falling down the basement stairs, which could have resulted in hip replacements, but luckily this was not the case.


Luckily.

Quality.

Tonight I babysat. Beforehand, I made 35 plaster molds of animals and monsters and brought them with me. The kids proceeded to paint said plaster cookies for four gloriously occupied hours. We then ate tomato soup and grilled cheese and saltines and sundaes. AND we watched The Muppet Christmas Carol. I like to think I am influencing these children on what is truly wonderful in life. Plaster, tomato soup with Premiums, ice cream, and Muppets.

I left the parents with two sugar high children and 35 useless plaster shapes.

My hands are freezing. And chapped. I try to moisturize, and then I evenutally wash my hands so I don't get the flu or menengitis or any of those lovely ailments that frequent this area, and then they get re-chapped.

Whatever.

Un04gettable...wow.

Okay, so 2004 has started off as a very entertaining year.

New Year's Eve was spectacular. I love it when my friends can successfully mesh with my bonkers Canadian family. We played Yankee Swap, and Natale and Megan were definately the big winners, having ended up with an oversized papier mache apple birdfeeder and a set of 3 pairs of tube socks; respectively. Towards the end of the night, they started with the spoon playing along with the Canadian folk music, and of course that can only lead to my grandmother and great aunt peer pressuring Natale to sing. 

Last night was much more low key, so the Randalls decided to do "Family movie night" and sit ourselves down to watch heartwarming family flicks such as The Sum of all Fears, starring Ben Affleck as a multi-lingual CIA agent who inevitably saves the free world from nuclear destricrion.

Oh Ben, is there anything you can't do?

I would really like to be an extra in a movie. Not just any extra, but one with a really memorable line. Like the lady in Cold Mountain who says something along the lines of "Get the Yanks".