I came to this conclusion during last night's Road Rules. They have to be the most crafty people on the planet to pick a 300 pound man to be on a show involving physical activity and hanging from various thin bungee cords and ropes. I can only imagine what was going through their heads while wacthing Donell's application video. They're a bunch of crazy sick geniuses to have picked him. That was risky, I bet it was to prove that MTV still hasn't lost its edge. Kudos to them.
I want to be a Casting Director. Almsot as much as I want to be on the Real World.
I also want to find that godforsaken eiffel tower tank top. Yes, I'm still looking for it. Where oh where could it possibly be?! I'll probably find it in January.
Today's my half birthday. I should eat some cake.
Have a good night everyone, and try to remember not to run with scissors.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Monday, July 28, 2003
Revelation.
So I arrived home from lovely New Hope, Pennsylvania today. It actually was really really nice, which was actually somewhat of a letdown as I was expecting to experience Lizzy-vania, also known as Altoona, where she gets the mesh hats and has the gopher shooting relatives. No such luck with New Hope. It was a lot like the Cape, incredibly nice little stores, beautiful houses, retirement communities, and a plethora of groundhogs roaming the pridelands. Needless to say, I did not find a mesh hat. I'm going to work on that.
So the whole point of this trek down south was to go to one of my dad's TWO cousins' wedding. He has a very small side of the family, unlike my mom, who could populate a small country with Canadian cousins. Anyway, the wedding was really beautiful. For the most part. The bride was pretty, she had a tiara. I like tiaras a lot. Here's what I didn't like:
-The bridesmaids dresses. The color was nice, and so was the style, however the entire thing was ruined with a pink and blue plaid fabric on the top of the dress. Come on now. Patterns? I guess she picked them out on a stressful day, or else she just wanted to make sure they didn't look as good as she did. If that's the case, then she's a genius and more power to her.
The minister also thought he was being all original with his little speech thing, and began saying, as if he made it up himself: "Love is patient, and kind...It is never boastful" and yadda yadda yadda. Well, guess what. He ripped that little speech straight from A Walk To Remember and was trying to pass it off as his own minister genius. Not gonna fly. I picked up on it, and it appears there is a Mandy Moore fan at the New Hope Presbyterian church. I'll keep his little secret for now.
My dad's cousin, the one who got married, is a producer for the sports report of the Philadelphia local news. SO in his wedding party, come to find out, was THE Philadelphia version of Boston's WB 56 Ten O'Clock news anchor. I was very starstruck, and actually met and spoke to this guy who has the job that I want. He was very nice, and hopefully I made myself my first very own connection. Oooh, Aaah.
A revelation came to me a few moments ago, and those of you who took AP English Language and Composition this year with Mrs. Moriarty will find this highly amusing. Kerri tells me, that according to the latest Atlantic Monthly (which she got for one reason or another, who knows, I didn't ask), William Faulkner wrote the wonderful novel As I Lay Dying, as you very well know. What you DON'T know is that the completed manuscript was accidentally thrown into the fire and reduced to ashes. So, good old Faulkner gets himself nice and drunk one night, and writes THE ENTIRE BOOK OVER AGAIN. You who have read this are now going ahhhh I GET IT! There was no deeper meaning, no hidden interpretation with symbolism and the dead mother with the fish and the vultures. Oh no. The book was a product of a man's drunken rewrite of what could very well have been a book that made sense. Discuss this amongst yourselves.
So tomorrow I have to research for my AP Psych summer project with Samm. The Brave New World is a weirdass book. It reminded me of Barbie, Get Real with all the perfection and the pill popping. If you saw that play and read this book, you know what I'm talking about.
I really really want an ice cream maker. A lot. It would multiply the food capacity by ten, at least. The possiblities are endless.
I learned a new phrase this week.
"Yo Boy":(n.) Referring to caucasian people who take on African American inner city tendancies. (ex. Eminem) antonym: Prince Harry
Thank you and good night.
So the whole point of this trek down south was to go to one of my dad's TWO cousins' wedding. He has a very small side of the family, unlike my mom, who could populate a small country with Canadian cousins. Anyway, the wedding was really beautiful. For the most part. The bride was pretty, she had a tiara. I like tiaras a lot. Here's what I didn't like:
-The bridesmaids dresses. The color was nice, and so was the style, however the entire thing was ruined with a pink and blue plaid fabric on the top of the dress. Come on now. Patterns? I guess she picked them out on a stressful day, or else she just wanted to make sure they didn't look as good as she did. If that's the case, then she's a genius and more power to her.
The minister also thought he was being all original with his little speech thing, and began saying, as if he made it up himself: "Love is patient, and kind...It is never boastful" and yadda yadda yadda. Well, guess what. He ripped that little speech straight from A Walk To Remember and was trying to pass it off as his own minister genius. Not gonna fly. I picked up on it, and it appears there is a Mandy Moore fan at the New Hope Presbyterian church. I'll keep his little secret for now.
My dad's cousin, the one who got married, is a producer for the sports report of the Philadelphia local news. SO in his wedding party, come to find out, was THE Philadelphia version of Boston's WB 56 Ten O'Clock news anchor. I was very starstruck, and actually met and spoke to this guy who has the job that I want. He was very nice, and hopefully I made myself my first very own connection. Oooh, Aaah.
A revelation came to me a few moments ago, and those of you who took AP English Language and Composition this year with Mrs. Moriarty will find this highly amusing. Kerri tells me, that according to the latest Atlantic Monthly (which she got for one reason or another, who knows, I didn't ask), William Faulkner wrote the wonderful novel As I Lay Dying, as you very well know. What you DON'T know is that the completed manuscript was accidentally thrown into the fire and reduced to ashes. So, good old Faulkner gets himself nice and drunk one night, and writes THE ENTIRE BOOK OVER AGAIN. You who have read this are now going ahhhh I GET IT! There was no deeper meaning, no hidden interpretation with symbolism and the dead mother with the fish and the vultures. Oh no. The book was a product of a man's drunken rewrite of what could very well have been a book that made sense. Discuss this amongst yourselves.
So tomorrow I have to research for my AP Psych summer project with Samm. The Brave New World is a weirdass book. It reminded me of Barbie, Get Real with all the perfection and the pill popping. If you saw that play and read this book, you know what I'm talking about.
I really really want an ice cream maker. A lot. It would multiply the food capacity by ten, at least. The possiblities are endless.
I learned a new phrase this week.
"Yo Boy":(n.) Referring to caucasian people who take on African American inner city tendancies. (ex. Eminem) antonym: Prince Harry
Thank you and good night.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Edeilweiss.
Have I ever mentioned how much I absolutely adore The Sound of Music? Well, I do. There is not one life lesson that cannot be learned by watching this movie. If anyone cares to challenge this, please, by all means comment and I will do my best to prove you wrong ; )
Today was a magical day, spent with magical people. Lizzy and Samm came over in the afternoon, where we of course, ate. For those of you who think that toaster pizzas can only be made using english muffins, think again. Bagels provide the consumer with a much more filling and delicious meal. We washed down the bagel pizzas with a few Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (Harry Potter candy, in case you're wondering. Yes, we are wizards. It's impolite to stare).
Before the good however came the bad. This morning I was awoken with the shrieks of my little sister, her cat was on the roof. Yes, the roof. Apparantly one of our upstairs windows was left open all night so that the raccoons, moths, squirrels, and burglars would have a warm place to sleep for the night. Anyhow, the cat used this exit and was prowling around on the roof. So, with the best interest of the roof and myself in mind, I suggested that she, being 10 years old and about as gangly as Bambi himself, climb out the window and fetch the cat. That was done. Then, as Samm was leaving this afternoon, the dog got outside in the front yard, which he is not allowed to do, as he will head for the hills at top speeds and most likely be run over by the train that runs not so far from my house. So, it took 4 individuals, a Farmer (Liz), a Petco Employee (Jasmine, Samm's sister), Samm, and myself to tackle the animal, who, by the way, is only 7 months old, and hook on a godforsaken leash, all while the dog is squirming, wriggling, growling, and practically foaming at the mouth. I swear, these beasts know I don't like them very much, so they wait until my mom's ONE workday of the week to insue chaos. How thoughtful.
I babysat my cousins tonight. I'm sitting the playroom, playing House, when I hear my six year old first grader of a cousin singing a familiar tune. I listen, and I hear:
"Don't step on the crack, or we'll send you to Iraq."
Not the whole breaking your mother's back bit of my childhood, mind you. I love politically aware children. I also love thoughtful children, as the two year old, when his dad came back, was quick to offer first a sip of orange juice, and then a beer. Well, we start 'em young in my family of French Canadian liquor consumers. I absolutely love it.
I also drove today, for the first time since like, April. I have to admit that possibly my worst fear in the world is car accidents, right along with snakes, swimming in the ocean, and being a failure at life. But I took a giant step today by driving to the end of my street, BY MYSELF, to pick up Kerri. Yes, I am putting my license and my ability to legally drive others to GOOD GOOD USE!
That's all for tonight, hopefully tomorrow will present itself with an issue worth venting over, but you all get to take a break from my opinionated entries tonight and look foward to tomorrow!
So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersen, Good Bye.
Today was a magical day, spent with magical people. Lizzy and Samm came over in the afternoon, where we of course, ate. For those of you who think that toaster pizzas can only be made using english muffins, think again. Bagels provide the consumer with a much more filling and delicious meal. We washed down the bagel pizzas with a few Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (Harry Potter candy, in case you're wondering. Yes, we are wizards. It's impolite to stare).
Before the good however came the bad. This morning I was awoken with the shrieks of my little sister, her cat was on the roof. Yes, the roof. Apparantly one of our upstairs windows was left open all night so that the raccoons, moths, squirrels, and burglars would have a warm place to sleep for the night. Anyhow, the cat used this exit and was prowling around on the roof. So, with the best interest of the roof and myself in mind, I suggested that she, being 10 years old and about as gangly as Bambi himself, climb out the window and fetch the cat. That was done. Then, as Samm was leaving this afternoon, the dog got outside in the front yard, which he is not allowed to do, as he will head for the hills at top speeds and most likely be run over by the train that runs not so far from my house. So, it took 4 individuals, a Farmer (Liz), a Petco Employee (Jasmine, Samm's sister), Samm, and myself to tackle the animal, who, by the way, is only 7 months old, and hook on a godforsaken leash, all while the dog is squirming, wriggling, growling, and practically foaming at the mouth. I swear, these beasts know I don't like them very much, so they wait until my mom's ONE workday of the week to insue chaos. How thoughtful.
I babysat my cousins tonight. I'm sitting the playroom, playing House, when I hear my six year old first grader of a cousin singing a familiar tune. I listen, and I hear:
"Don't step on the crack, or we'll send you to Iraq."
Not the whole breaking your mother's back bit of my childhood, mind you. I love politically aware children. I also love thoughtful children, as the two year old, when his dad came back, was quick to offer first a sip of orange juice, and then a beer. Well, we start 'em young in my family of French Canadian liquor consumers. I absolutely love it.
I also drove today, for the first time since like, April. I have to admit that possibly my worst fear in the world is car accidents, right along with snakes, swimming in the ocean, and being a failure at life. But I took a giant step today by driving to the end of my street, BY MYSELF, to pick up Kerri. Yes, I am putting my license and my ability to legally drive others to GOOD GOOD USE!
That's all for tonight, hopefully tomorrow will present itself with an issue worth venting over, but you all get to take a break from my opinionated entries tonight and look foward to tomorrow!
So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersen, Good Bye.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Massholes.
While catching my weekly dose of Road Rules: South Pacific on MTV tonight, and having been watching The Real World: Paris rather religiously, it occured to me that there is a Massachusetts citizen on each of these shows. Now, you would think that I, being a native Massachusetts girl, or, as a charming Californian whom I met in Paris stated, I am a "****ing Yankee".
(sidenote: Californian boy, if you are reading this, can I please remind you that your state was not even a part of the Union at that time, and if it was, I'm fairly certain that it was in fact a Union state. Rightous.)
Anyway, as I was saying, I am a proud upstanding citizen of this fine state, and there are many other fine upstanding citizens who reside here with me. However, all you non- Massachusetts-ians are, I must say, horribly misinformed as to what we "Yankees" are like.
Example number one: Donell from Road Rules: South Pacific. Many of you probably watch the show and know him, but for those of you who don't, he is an extremely obese, exrremely dumb person who is an arrogent backstabber/ fight picker. He has been known to say things like "I don't got no ..." and "Ain't nothing...". He also obviously plucks/waxes his eyebrows, and I'm not talking a simple unibrow elimination, but a serious wax job so that he closely resembles Whoopi Goldberg, but not as extreme.
Example number two: Chris from the Real World: Paris. Here is a boy with what many would call a "typical" Massachusetts accent. (i.e. Pahk the cah in the Hahvahd Yahd.) By placing this man on national television MTV is encouraging the stereotype that all Bostonians speak with this horrendous accent. This is not true. Sure, there are a few who do, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting for example, are from Cambridge and have this accent. However Diane Lane in the Perfect Storm is a prime example of a conscious effort to imitate said accent, and unfortunately she sounds even stupider than Chris from The Real World. The accent, however, is a mere detail, but Chris is another uneducated, selfish, jerk of a person that is represnting an entire state.
Example number three: The entire Kennedy family, with the exception of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis. They are in a league of their own, trust me, not all Massachusetts citizens are able to use their money and power to cover up rape, murder, scandal, and the occasional affair or two. They define Masshole in every way and encompass everything bad in both Chris and Donell, everything from the backstabbing jerk to the obnoxious accent.
The bottom line here goes out to any of you who read this and take to heart the poor examples of Massachusetts people set by Donell, Chris, and the Kennedys. I personally am a moral person, a relatively intelligent person, and I have a full grasp on how to pronounce my "R"s.
And I am a Red Sox fan.
(sidenote: Californian boy, if you are reading this, can I please remind you that your state was not even a part of the Union at that time, and if it was, I'm fairly certain that it was in fact a Union state. Rightous.)
Anyway, as I was saying, I am a proud upstanding citizen of this fine state, and there are many other fine upstanding citizens who reside here with me. However, all you non- Massachusetts-ians are, I must say, horribly misinformed as to what we "Yankees" are like.
Example number one: Donell from Road Rules: South Pacific. Many of you probably watch the show and know him, but for those of you who don't, he is an extremely obese, exrremely dumb person who is an arrogent backstabber/ fight picker. He has been known to say things like "I don't got no ..." and "Ain't nothing...". He also obviously plucks/waxes his eyebrows, and I'm not talking a simple unibrow elimination, but a serious wax job so that he closely resembles Whoopi Goldberg, but not as extreme.
Example number two: Chris from the Real World: Paris. Here is a boy with what many would call a "typical" Massachusetts accent. (i.e. Pahk the cah in the Hahvahd Yahd.) By placing this man on national television MTV is encouraging the stereotype that all Bostonians speak with this horrendous accent. This is not true. Sure, there are a few who do, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting for example, are from Cambridge and have this accent. However Diane Lane in the Perfect Storm is a prime example of a conscious effort to imitate said accent, and unfortunately she sounds even stupider than Chris from The Real World. The accent, however, is a mere detail, but Chris is another uneducated, selfish, jerk of a person that is represnting an entire state.
Example number three: The entire Kennedy family, with the exception of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis. They are in a league of their own, trust me, not all Massachusetts citizens are able to use their money and power to cover up rape, murder, scandal, and the occasional affair or two. They define Masshole in every way and encompass everything bad in both Chris and Donell, everything from the backstabbing jerk to the obnoxious accent.
The bottom line here goes out to any of you who read this and take to heart the poor examples of Massachusetts people set by Donell, Chris, and the Kennedys. I personally am a moral person, a relatively intelligent person, and I have a full grasp on how to pronounce my "R"s.
And I am a Red Sox fan.
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