The Tewksbury Chainsaw Massacre

The Curse of Mary the Teal Van lives on.

Let me explain. Last summer Natale, Kristina, and I decided to go to the Solomon Pond Mall, because it was the easiest "good" mall to get to from Leominster, as there are several clearly labeled signs to guide weary travellers to the Mall. Plus, Mary wasn't doing so well, and had to take it easy, so a 20 minute drive was about all she could handle.

Well to make a long (and personally degrading) story short, the three of us visited the towns of Upton and Hopkington and went about thirty miles out of the way before finally seeking the aid of a police man in a parking lot to put us back on the appropriate highway.

Today Bill, Page, Kristina, and I decided to pop on over to Solomon Pond Mall to pick up some sunglasses. We assumed the lesson had been learned, and we would just follow the many obvious signs that direct the travellers and end up at the mall in the appropriate 20 or so minutes.

So we get engrossed in conversation and not only drive past our exit, but about 15 exits following our exit. We are now Lost. Not just lost, but Lost. As in 40 miles too far, Welcome to Tewksbury/Wilmington/NORTH READING kind of lost. Since we refuse to resort to asking a police man for directions to Solomon Pond Mall AGAIN, Kristina decides to pop into a Burger King and ask a freshly emigrated employee how to get back on the highway we needed. The kindly woman told us to take a right and go down, down, down the street ("you may think you lost, but you NOT") until we reached Wal Mart.

So it took an hour, once again. But this time we got to experience Tewksbury-It KICKS!, in all of its never ending glory. I have visited a fair amount of random Massachusetts towns trying to go to a mall that is 20 minutes and like 2 towns away.

Thus describes Mary's Curse. It has now affected both Natale and Kristina. I'm the only one left, and I can only IMAGINE where I'll wind up if I ever decide to drive to Solomon Pond Mall.

...Probably Rhode Island.