Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Road Trip to L.A.: Day Four

Little Rock, AR to Albuquerque, NM


We settled into our 12+ hour drive to Albuquerque  and the Widget practically laughed its nonexistant head off when we programmed New Mexico into it as our destination. I really love giving that thing human-like qualities and I really wish it was more of an interactive robot than it actually is. Anyway, today really separated the men from the boys in terms of Road Tripping, and we are the men. Boys drive to the airport. Men drive to the ultimate destination in a tiny car and utilize every available space. They fill their glove compartments with speeding tickets (Natalie added a second one after 10 minutes behind the wheel, when a Texas cop clocked her going 90 in a 70. What we didn't tell him was that five minutes prior she topped off at 106 in a 70. These roads are flat, straight and empty. You can only speed), princess crowns and corn nuts and they get really jazzed when they see a fellow Massachusetts license plate and they don't bitch out. Ever. 


Here's my Arkansas concern: tornadoes. I'm not sure if Arkansas is just on constant alert for them or if we were actually in real danger of getting twistered,  but there were warnings all over the place and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't horrifying to hear about tornadoes touching down in the "midwest and Arkansas" and having it actually apply to my general vicinity. Luckily Liz and Eleanor saw Twister a hundred times apiece and were fully prepared for the chase if it needed to happen. We were a little on edge though, especially when, last night while we were sleeping, the heat or something in the hotel kicked on and I'd be lying if I said I didn't panic just a little because it didn't NOT sound like an oncoming locomotive, AKA tornado. 


In Oklahoma we held onto our scalps as we entered Cherokee country and proceeded to drive down I-40 West for 537 miles. However, just because we spent fourteen hours on the same road does NOT mean a decrease in excitement. First and foremost, Eleanor whipped out surprise number two - hillbilly teeth - which really helped us to fit in with our new peers. Then, shortly after entering Texas we stumbled upon the World's Largest Cross which definitely warranted a pit stop as it was one huge cross. As in, See-It-From-Space huge. The World's Largest Cross also featured a gift shop and Blessed Mary's Amer-Tex-Mex Restaurant. There was really no time to dilly dally, although it would have been amazing to see how they blended religious innuendoes with a Tex Mex menu.


One thing I'm really loving about all of this is watching all of the stereotypes I have heard just fall right into place. It's really satisfying, especially since now I can not only continue the hilarious stereotyping, but I can do it with the ammo of proof to fire back at those who might try and make me feel like a jerk for generalizing.  I can't even begin to describe the accuracy with which New Mexico is stereotyped. I just...I literally cannot. The scenery is lovely though, if not a little Martian.


My one complaint is that those crazy "Welcome to (STATE)" signs come and go so darn fast that it's damn near impossible to photograph them. I thought I was going to have a bitchin' collection of pictures of those signs but all I have is New Mexico and Texas because they usually just sneak up on us as we're blowing past them on one highway or another. C'est la vie.

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