A Roadtrip That I Am Not On III

Oklahoma City, OK to Flagstaff, AZ

5:56 AM: Liz: Maybe you're meant to wake up at 6 AM!
Natalie: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

8:51 AM: "Shit. We're in Texas."

9:18 AM: "There is so much roadkill here. It's like even the skunks know how bad it is to live here."

9:39 AM: "Don't worry. The largest cross in the western hemisphere is still here and has yet to be usurped by any other crosses. "

10:34 AM: "So I passed the cross. I don't think I need to see it twice. Natty slept through it and said 'I slept through it again? I guess I'm not meant to see it.' Then a couple minutes later she says 'I want to the into stealing.' "

11:06 AM: ""Are the Jonas brothers saving it for marriage?" "Yeah, I think so." "That makes me want to do them more."

11:14 AM: "Aaaaand we just got pulled over in Texas. And Natty is sitting in the cop car with the officer."

11:19 AM:

"Oh, it's just Natty kicking it in a police cruiser."

11:22 AM:

Cop: "Well our computers are down, so we can't run a search on you. Are you wanted anywhere?"
Nat: "Not that I know of."

Cop: "Not that you know of?"

Nat: "Well I think my friend that's in the car wants me right now."

12:54 PM: "WORST NEWS. I JUST LOST A CONTACT IN A NEW MEXICO BATHROOM. AND THE SUN IS ONLY IN MYEYES. Nat just says, 'Let's get on the news. I just took the biggest shit of my life and you lost a contact.' Obviously I don't have any other contacts. Because I live my life on the irresponsible side. You know how I feel about wearing my glasses. I have a whole new, long term Tyra Banks style expose. I am an offcial nerd."

4:28 PM: "We're just racing trains in New Mexico. "

4:36 PM: "Epic."*

5:57 PM: "It is 29 degrees and Natalie is peeing outside."

6:22 PM: "We're on the lookout for the nuclear meth lab we came across on the last trip. "

6:45 PM: "Spotted: Meth factory. We're waiting until we're right up in its bowels for a pic. Get ready."

6:53 PM:

"THERE IT IS. Shit's really hard to photograph. They probably did that on purpose.

Natty: 'I feel high right now.'"

7:45 PM: "Today has sucked significantly more than every other day. "

* They could probably shoot a buffalo, carry no more than 200lbs back to their wagon, and trade the remains for beads and snake bite kits with the other settlers out there.