Thinkabowdit.

Since I have one of the last few required assignments of my academic career looming ominously on my List of Things To Do Post Haste, I am obviously inspired to procrastinate in any way possible. So after sitting and staring and thinking about what to do in order to avoid what must be done, I came up with a few lists:

List of Lessons Learned for Today

1. When the wrench light in your car illuminates, it's not as ominous as it appears. Your car is not on the verge of exploding at any given ignition-start. You don't actually need to take it to the dealer to get its engine serviced for $117 because you're not in jeopardy at all. You just need to change the oil. Dammit. They really should make a different, less threatening symbol other than a wrench that means "Hey, you know, go buy a can of oil at Target because what you've got in here could use a refresher." 

2. Hollywood version 1.0, as in, Hollywood Hollywood, not North Hollywood or West Hollywood, just Hollywood, is really...not so nice. This I'd heard before, but now I can attest to it after walking around a not unquestionable series of blocks surrounding Honda of Hollywood for two hours instead of sitting in the doughnut filled, Honda of Hollywood waiting area.

3. Hollywood Forever and cemeteries in L.A. en general seem very strange. I can't put my finger on why, exactly, but they just do. It might have to do with the whole one season, time stands still feeling that this place seems to have, where people do everything in their power to be (or at least appear to be) young forever. Cemeteries keep it real.

4. This isn't really a lesson, but I'm beginning to suspect that when Jamba Juice throws that "free boost" into your smoothie what they're really throwing in is crack because I don't not get the DTs when I go too long without a Pineapple Passion.

List of Concrete, No Room for Argument Truths. 

(Some of you may think that I'm just being an ignorant, stubborn, bigot who is just obnoxious with her opinions, but I assure you that that's really not the case. I've given everything on this list careful thought and did not jump to my conclusions without securing the necessary airtight facts.)

1. Titanic is the greatest movie ever made. Say what you want, but deep down, you know in your heart that it's true. I don't care who you are. There is nothing unlikable about Titanic. If you can't honestly admit to liking the entire movie as a whole, there is at least one of its many wonderful layers that you find brilliant. I love a lot of movies, and though I can't say for certain that Titanic is my favorite of all time, I do know that it is the most perfect and all of you who act as though it isn't really ought to just own up to the fact that you're just not allowing yourself to acknowledge the true feelings that reside within you. 

2. Nobody dislikes The Departed. Nobody.

That's really all I've got for this one.