Psoriasis Connections.

So one day I was watching TV Guide Channel, waiting to see what time Full House came on or something, and that's when it happened.

My eyes were pulled away from the scrolling bars of television programming and fixated on an infomercial. This informercial was for a little organization called Psoriasis Connections, a support group and newsletter where people with psoriasis can learn about ther plague and come up with witty explanations for their aiments.

Obviously I needed to get in on the fun. I alerted Samm of this; and right away we formed the aliases of Iava and Uava Rache, and signed up for the free newsletter.

About three weeks ago, I find a package, discreetly encased in an inconspicuous navy blue plastic cover (presumably so that the mailman isn't made aware of the psoriasis) addressed to Iava Rache.

The following are direct quotes from the November 2003 issue of Psoriasis Connections:

*Possible explanation to give someone that you're planning to meet for the first time on a date*

-"I want to warn you. I've got this condition. It's not contagious, and it looks much worse than it is. I am going through a tough stage right now; if you would rather wait a few weeks to meet me, I'll understand."
-"I'm kind of going out on a limb here by disclosing this to you. I don't want you to get spooked when you see me. I want to reassure you that you can't catch it."

*Or you could just take the indifferent route:*

-"It's just too much skin. Big deal."
-"Some people are squeamish about this and I understand. Sometimes I goss myself out with it."

*The "Funny Guy"*
-"This is psoriasis. Proof that you CAN have too much of a good thing! Psoriasis isn't contagious or infectious; it just causes your body to produce WAAAAAY too much skin. At least you'll never call ME thin-skinned!"

*Possible explanations for encounters at a business meeting*
-"I want you to be able to concentrate on what I'm saying here, because it may be very important to you later. I don't want you to be distracted by what you see on my hands or (face, etc.) So let me put everyone's mind at ease. I have psoriasis. It's not contagious. It's not infectious. It can be itchy and annoying, but if you've ever had bad mosquito bites or poison ivy, you know the feeling. So, with this said, let us get back to our real purpose for getting together today and discuss..."

AND, if you happen to meet a business partner during an oubreak, shaking hands is not necessary. A firm smile, nod, and the explanation "Sorry, but my hand is a little sore right now" will suffice.

So wait...is psoriasis contagious?

I love free newsletters. Even if they do make me itchy.