Judgement.

This is the beginning of what I'm sure will be an ongoing series of absolutely ridiculous yet, sadly, totally serious updates to an assortment of Facebook profiles on my friends list, mostly people who I went to elementary and high school with that have only made the cut on my frequent de-friending sprees because they're too damn entertaining to let go. Really, it's somewhat unnerving to think about how these people and I essentially got the same education. We drank the same tap water, did the same posterboard research projects, took the same standardized tests and yet, somewhere along the line... I don't know, but something clearly went terribly wrong, or else I somehow managed a narrow escape. On second thought, I was decidedly uncool by the standards of the time for a solid twelve years, so maybe I was just ignorant to the after school glue sniffing parties that were going on. Regardless. Voila:

Exhibit A

I actually just really admire Exhibit A's enthusiasm for what appears to be a sad, very sad existence.

About Me: I currently work for Target my all time favorite store!!! I am a Cash Office Specialist and also a guest service team leader!!! I Love my job its fun to be back in the customer service field!!! I love music its basically what pulls me threw each day!!! I live to shop!! I wish i could really afford it but I have done my damage!!! I love the color pink and would live around it all the time!!! I am very outgoing very friendly! I appericate everyone that has come into my life no matter how bad the times were!!! I care so much about others and what others think about me that I think tends to get people to think im out of the norm but all i want is for you to like me!!!

Exhibit B

After a long day of organizing, social work and helping others, Exhibit B likes to trade her LONG jeans in for some sweatpants, throw back a dozen Jager bombs and stare at her smiling face in the mirror while she exercises, in hopes of getting a bod worthy of an Italian Stallion.

Interests: *loud music *my smile *perfume* Italians *my mom's cooking *nice people *Central Mass *working hard * sweatpants *sneakers *exercise *hoodies *LONG jeans *afternoon naps *cuddling *typing fast *trashy tv shows *Dunkins *Taco Bell *drinking *Jager and redbull *thugs *cloves *long showers *Amaretto sours *being organized *cleaning *social work *helping people

Exhibit C

Hey oh, Ladies. Exhibit C is a C-A-T-C-H.

Activities:

working construction

Interests:

smoking weed, drinink beer, gambling, chillin

Favorite Music:

rap

Favorite TV Shows:

nip/tuck

Favorite Movies:

scarface

Favorite Books:

don't read

Favorite Quotations:

first you gotta get the money....after you get the money, you get the power...and after you get the power...you get the woman

About Me:

i like to smoke weed, drink beers, and on my spare time play ball with the boys and chill.