Independence.

This morning I woke up to an article that Liz e-mailed to me from Boston.com about some slightly off-kilter 50-something MIT-educated chemist lady terrorizing the Suffolk students in her Beacon Hill apartment building by pouring chemicals everywhere before barricading herself in the apartment, resulting an an evacuation of the building a la The Great 50 Garden Street Fire of 2007 and I thought to myself, for the billionth time: Man, I wish I were in Boston right now.

Further adding to my Boston ache is the fact that, when one is in Massachusetts for Independence Day, it's awesome, whereas Los Angeles sort of, well, LA-ifies the holiday. Dumbs it down a little while increasing the d-bag level tenfold. In case anyone thinks that this is just me being closed minded and pessimistic, behold the proof: 

Fourth of July activities as listed on Boston.com: New England is filled with historic locales, from revolutionary battlegrounds to a famous baseball park.What better time to explore these national treasures than on a national holiday? So drop that hot dog and do some something a bit more patriotic this Fourth of July. You may be surprised at what you find — and learn.

• Boston's Freedom Trail is the country's first historic walking tour. Discover 16 important sites and two-and-a-half centuries of America's past. Stops along the trail include Paul Revere's home - the oldest building in downtown Boston - and the Old North Church - the city's oldest church.

• Explore the oldest commissioned ship afloat in the world, the USS Constitution. Nicknamed, "Old Ironsides," the ship has been around since 1797 and played an important role in the War of 1812.

• Take a guided tour of Fenway Park and experience New England's rich baseball history. From the press box to the Green Monster, visitors get a peek behind the scenes of "America's Most Beloved Ballpark."

• The Baseball as America exhibit at the Museum of Science in Boston depicts how the country's favorite pastime has affected history. Featuring a special section highlighting baseball in Boston, the exhibit runs through Sept. 1.

And then of course there's the obvious choice of a brilliant, free Boston Pops concert on the Esplanade. Seriously, thinking about it hurts my heart. And because I apparently only love masochism...

Fourth of July Activities as listed in LA.com's article, When Fireworks Aren't Enough: 

Halfway through the four-day work week and we're sure that, like us, you are still weighing out your Independence Day options.  Which sounds more appealing: flocking to LA beaches, stadiums, or coliseums with the thousands of fireworks-seeking families or indulging in the BBQ & illegal fireworks display at the house party of your choice?  There is, of course, a third option (the one we're leaning towards) — drink in the name of democracy and pledge your allegiance to one of the parties below.  

• The Super Naughty Pool Party
  When: Friday, July 4th 1-8pm
  Where: The Standard Downtown Rooftop
  Why: Local DJ faves Mike B (LAX Banana Spilt Sundaes), Blu Jemz, and Jonny Boy will be joined by NYC's Unemployed Lloyd.  Oh, and that wet t-shirt contest might be all kinds of awesome, too. 

• Soft-Opening of Kress Hollywood
  When: Friday, July 4th 9:30pm-2am
  Where: 6608 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood (across from Geisha House)
  Why:  This sure-to-be A-list haven will open its doors to the public (read: the uber-gorgeous and connected) for a soft-opening this Friday.  The four-story nightlife masterpiece will have its grand opening next weekend, when LA partyers are back from vacay and can create the opening night clusterf**k that a venue like Kress deserves.

•  Gridlock at The Queen Mary
  When: Friday, July 4th 10am-12am
  Where: The Queen Mary, Long Beach
  Why: Enjoy carnival rides and A-list performances from Ray J, Colby O'Donis, Girlicious and a surprise platinum artist after the 9pm spectacular fireworks show. 
  Tickets: General Admission Adults: $44.95, Children: $21.95 (ages 5-12), children under 5 years old are free.  VIP Admission: $94.95 (includes line-cutting privileges for carnival rides and a dinner buffet)
  
  
• Independence Day at The Backyard
  When: Friday, July 4th 10pm-4am
  Where: The Backyard at the W Hotel, Westwood
  Why: Not your typical 4th of July backyard BBQ, in a good way.  A hip pool party on the westside with sounds provided by DJ Marshal Barnes and DJ Politik.
  

So there you have it. I don't think I need to say much more, except for that I know one thing. Once I've done whatever it is that I came here to do, I will sprint back to Boston so fast and never give it a second thought.