Bugs.

My dog- am I still allowed to call him my dog or is he now, since I'm a Real Person, considered my parents' dog? I have no clue. At any rate, Milo is a real treasure of a Golden Retriever, but he never finished the portion of puppy school that teaches the puppies how to come the instant they are told to. He gets it eventually, but holding the storm door open at 11:30 PM, welcoming every blood sucking member of the local mosquito population into the house, repeatedly ordering Milo to "come" in my most authoritative voice while he stands there staring at me, slack-jawed with eyebrows aflutter, makes me hate him. He always redeems himself though.

I think I heard somewhere that they don't have mosquitoes in California. I might have made that up, but I don't remember getting viciously bitten by them while I was there, so maybe there aren't. Which is great and all, but let's not forget that there are no black widow spiders in Massachusetts.

My night would be infinitely worse if I had just let dozens of black widows into the house. Thinking about it makes mosquitoes seem kind of peachy.

Truth.

When I was in second grade there was a solar eclipse and all of the teachers at Johnny Appleseed elementary stressed the importance of not looking directly at the sun. When a problematic classmate of mine whined "What if we wear sunglasses?!" everyone flipped out and jumped down his throat, reinforcing the fact that nothing, not even sunglasses, could protect his eyes from the solar eclipse.

This got me thinking. What would happen if we looked at the sun? Nothing good, that was for sure.The consequence I came up with was based on Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I saw for the first time earlier that year with my dad: eyes dissolving and pouring out of sockets, skin melting away- biblical horror.

I'm not sure that that ISN'T what would have happened to me if I looked at the sun back in 1993. What I am sure of, especially after having just re-watched Raiders in preparation for Indiana Jones' triumphant return this Thursday, is this: When I have kids, I will absolutely tell them that if they look directly at the sun, their eyes will melt out of their sockets.

I will also tell them that dinosaurs are actually not extinct but nocturnal with a penchant for children who aren't in bed before dark.

Yes. My hypothetical children are hypothetically awesome.

Musing.

Swiped from a headstone in a Revolutionary War cemetery in Groton:

Stop, friend and read as you pass by.

As you are now, so once was I. 

As I am now, so you must be: 

Prepare for death and follow me.

I really appreciate the foresight this guy had. When I die, if I don't make it into the Bodyworlds exhibit as an example of what the muscles do when one lies on a couch and watches Titanic, I at least want an interactive epitaph. 

How great would my Bodyworlds exhibit be? Just Titanic...on a loop...all day.