Memphis is particularly good for three things: billboards, barbecued pork products and Elvis super-fans. We have experienced them all. The billboards are especially puzzling, since they advertise everything from Super Adult Video Stores (which I find interesting, especially when they're directly in front of Super Churches the size of stadiums) to tourist traps to places where you can get your vasectomy reversed. I've heard a rumor that tries to explain the Southern drawl by saying that the reason everyone speaks so slowly is because it's so hot all the time. I always thought that it was a kind of bunk rumor because it gets pretty hot in Boston in the summer and everyone moves just as quickly as ever, so as to get from one air conditioned place to the next in the least amount of time possible.
Anyway, my point is that I think that the Southern delay has absolutely nothing to do with temperature because people drive slowly, too. Which can be irritating, but also kind of nice because it has given us the opportunity to appreciate roadside subplots. Like, for instance, a serious Tennessee drug bust involving a pick up truck surrounded by two cop cars, one cop lying under the perp's truck searching for smack, presumably, while the other held his gun (!) on the guy in question. In addition to this, we get to see lots of wildlife. We're really just a bunch of zoologists at this point, spotting everything from bison (which years of serious Oregon trail playing has taught me that, while I can eat them and sleep in their hides, I won't be able to carry more than 200 pounds of meat back with me to my wagon) to cows to horses to goats to hawks to deer. I can definitely say that I've seen two deer. Natalie may have seen four more, but, according to her, "they're either deer or wolves...eating rats." So that's interesting.
We made it to Memphis, ate some of the aforementioned Excellent Barbecue at a delightfully questionable vacant place. We had a lovely waiter named Jeremy who initially thought we were martians but warmed up to us eventually and refused to give us any details about the Super Secret Barbecue recipe because he was under a confidentiality agreement with the Food Network. When we were leaving we found four roosters just hanging out in the parking lot taking baths in the dirt, which Natalie immediately called out on being four cocks getting dirty. Then we made our way to Graceland, which was everything that Uncle Jesse from Full House promised and more. Particularly because we just happened to stumble on it at the start of ELVIS WEEK on the day before Elvis' birthday. As a result, we got to participate in a Graceland Scavenger Hunt alongside hundreds of religiously obsessive Elvis followers who probably plan their entire years around Elvis Week AND we got the 2008 Limited Collector's Edition Elvis Beanie Baby Bear FREE with our admission, which retails at $10 but will probably fetch hundreds on Ebay. What. Luck. While in Graceland, Natalie and I ran into some lovely old women decked head to toe in bedazzled Elvis paraphernalia who told us how glad they were that we were there. This was particularly adorable since they didn't even work there, they were just really serious about their Graceland time. Eleanor and Liz weren't so lucky and got reprimanded by a random couple for being poser Elvis fans and taking up space in Graceland from those who were really serious about being there. Bottom line, we beat Graceland and the super-fans at their own game and took the Elvis Week Scavenger Hunt to school. I'm really looking forward to the day when Justin Randall Timberlake's Memphis home gets opened to the public so that I can visit that one.
I'll close this with a little list we've compiled of things we enjoy about Memphis and the south, en general:
1. Airbrushed nature murals on the back of RVs
2. Sweet tea
3. Strawberry soda
4. Speed limits of 70
5. Cheap room service
6. Friendly people* Southern hospitality does exist.
7. The fact that no matter how far you've driven or how much you've let yourself go, it's pretty difficult NOT to look good by comparison.
8. The fact that forties are not only sold in roadside convenience stores, but they're cheaper than most other beverages.
9. The landscapes (The sky looks enormous here and you can see the entirety of all the constellations)
10. Caves
No comments:
Post a Comment