What does the dirty napkin say?

I think I need to learn how to be one of those people who can effortlessly live in the moment. And by I think, I mean I definitely do, because the amount of time and the amount of sleep I lose fretting about the future and about things that are completely out of my control is staggering. 

I've also decided that it would probably be in my best interest to get over myself, because I've come to learn that nobody cares as much as I think they do.

I guess the bottom line is that after everything, I'm still absolutely terrified of being a failure, of wasting time, of being alone, of regret, and of losing the ones I love the most.

I probably shouldn't be bitching while Michael has suprisingly NOT died at the hands of the oral surgeon and has miraculously been given a second chance at life.

And I should probably be feeling pretty badass for getting interviewed by a police man patrolling LHS who thought that Kristina and Page and I were up to no good this evening while we decided to visit the new ampitheater behind the theater and dance/holler. Now that I think of it, I should be REALLY thankful that that police man:
1. Didn't have a hankering for some sour apple Altoid gum.
2. Wasn't around 3 months ago when nothing happened with nylon masks and duct tape, mostly because that probably would have been more difficult to explain.
3. Didn't mistake my jitteriness and overly apologetic demeanor for the after effects of cocaine.

So we all are pretty lucky, after all, and in the grand scheme of life and all that could go wrong, I have it pretty good. 

I just wish I could know for sure that I'm doing everything I need to do in order to take full advantage of this little life of mine.