Massholes.

While catching my weekly dose of Road Rules: South Pacific on MTV tonight, and having been watching The Real World: Paris rather religiously, it occured to me that there is a Massachusetts citizen on each of these shows. Now, you would think that I, being a native Massachusetts girl, or, as a charming Californian whom I met in Paris stated, I am a "****ing Yankee". 

(sidenote: Californian boy, if you are reading this, can I please remind you that your state was not even a part of the Union at that time, and if it was, I'm fairly certain that it was in fact a Union state. Rightous.) 

Anyway, as I was saying, I am a proud upstanding citizen of this fine state, and there are many other fine upstanding citizens who reside here with me. However, all you non- Massachusetts-ians are, I must say, horribly misinformed as to what we "Yankees" are like.

Example number one: Donell from Road Rules: South Pacific. Many of you probably watch the show and know him, but for those of you who don't, he is an extremely obese, exrremely dumb person who is an arrogent backstabber/ fight picker. He has been known to say things like "I don't got no ..." and "Ain't nothing...". He also obviously plucks/waxes his eyebrows, and I'm not talking a simple unibrow elimination, but a serious wax job so that he closely resembles Whoopi Goldberg, but not as extreme.

Example number two: Chris from the Real World: Paris. Here is a boy with what many would call a "typical" Massachusetts accent. (i.e. Pahk the cah in the Hahvahd Yahd.) By placing this man on national television MTV is encouraging the stereotype that all Bostonians speak with this horrendous accent. This is not true. Sure, there are a few who do, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting for example, are from Cambridge and have this accent. However Diane Lane in the Perfect Storm is a prime example of a conscious effort to imitate said accent, and unfortunately she sounds even stupider than Chris from The Real World. The accent, however, is a mere detail, but Chris is another uneducated, selfish, jerk of a person that is represnting an entire state.

Example number three: The entire Kennedy family, with the exception of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis. They are in a league of their own, trust me, not all Massachusetts citizens are able to use their money and power to cover up rape, murder, scandal, and the occasional affair or two. They define Masshole in every way and encompass everything bad in both Chris and Donell, everything from the backstabbing jerk to the obnoxious accent.

The bottom line here goes out to any of you who read this and take to heart the poor examples of Massachusetts people set by Donell, Chris, and the Kennedys. I personally am a moral person, a relatively intelligent person, and I have a full grasp on how to pronounce my "R"s. 

And I am a Red Sox fan.