One.

If I am ever rich and obnoxious like P. Diddy, I will buy thirty plus pairs of Lucky Denim Sundown Skinny jeans and hire an assistant with a build similar to mine so that she can break each pair in for me so that I won't have to. This way I will never have to worry about discontinuation of The Best Pants Ever.

If I am ever rich and obnoxious like Mariah Carey, I will ship a weekly calzone fix from Venice Cafe on Cambridge Street out to wherever I am living, because nowhere else in the world can you get a delicious, heart healthy, cheesy pepperoni and green pepper calzone quite like the ones that the nice foreign gentleman with the marijuana leaf tattooed in plain sight on his hand makes at Venice Cafe on Cambridge Street. 

Oh wait. Scratch that. All I need is $530,000-ish dollars with which to purchase my two bedroom, fourth floor walkup on Garden Street in Beacon Hill. Then I will consider myself wealthier than all of the above. I will walk to cherche my own calzones and balance out all the deliciousness with all the walking to and from Venice, up and down to my piece of property and in doing so, I will break in my jeans, one pair at a time.

In the meantime...L.A. and I recently celebrated our first anniversary, and like any successful arranged marriage, I like it more each day, generally speaking. And don't tell Boston, but bikes to Venice Beach in California January definitely beat hikes to Venice Cafe in Massachusetts January. 

I'm just saying.

Engrish.

Natale came back from Japan with several shirts bearing a few choice English phrases, seen below. Any grammatical errors, spelling or otherwise, weren't made by me.

What you do today it? 

It will come tomorrow if there is today. 

However, the thing that can be done today cannot be reccomended to be going to be postponed tomorrow.

It smells danced and the room was fresh.

You can coice your way but I cannot guarantee your life.

Kind of makes you wonder about that Japanese character tattoo and/or the nifty, Asian inspired graphic t-shirt you bought at Lucky Jeans, huh?

Serial.

Oh, lah dee dah, look at me enjoying an enormous mug of Cocoa Rice Kripsies in my bed like some kind of princess.

I'm really into Cocoa Rice Krispies now. For awhile there it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch or bust, but that kind of fizzled out. I suppose I could always go back, but it would probably never be the same. Too much was consumed, and I just ended things without much of an explanation. Then again, how do you explain to these guys the undeniably more exciting and spontaneous appeal of these guys  without causing at least a slight amount of ego damage? 

It's for the best.